In the original video, [Floyd Mayweather Jr.] referred to Pacquiao, a native of the Philippines, as “a yellow chump,” and said “Once I stomp the midget, I’ll make that [expletive] make me a sushi roll and cook me some rice.” In addition, he said, “I’m going to cook that [expletive] with cats and dogs. Have some rice with a little barbecue dog.” He also referred to Pacquiao by using a derogatory slang term for a homosexual.

Enough of this “[expletive]” [expletive] already! Report what the man said.  Come on. I want to know what “derogatory slang term for a homosexual” Mayweather used? Was it an original word—something he just came up with one day? Or was it an old favorite?

Boy, that fag can box!

Here’s a lil:

According to the State Department, we fall short on “fairness, equality, and dignity” in areas such as education, health, and housing, especially when it comes to women, blacks, Latinos, Muslims, South Asians, American Indians, and gay people.On closer reading, however, the claimed “human rights” problems start to look dubious. Take the report’s contention that “work remains to meet our goal of ensuring equality before the law” — a human right, to be sure. The supposed evidence is that unemployment is higher among blacks and Hispanics; there are racial and ethnic disparities in home ownership rates; and “whites are twice as likely as Native Americans to have a college degree.” But those are socio-economic inequalities owing to many factors, not inequalities before the law.

Or consider this point: “Asian-American men suffer from stomach cancer 114 percent more often than non-Hispanic white men.” That’s a human-rights problem?

So what’s going on here? A little background will be useful. Founded on the ashes of the Second World War, the United Nations assumed as one of its gravest missions the protection of human rights. Toward that end, however, its declaration on the subject cobbled together both real and spurious “rights.”

Hence the United Nations’ two main rights covenants: one on civil and political rights — those any American would recognize — to which the United States is a party; and the other on economic, social, and cultural “rights” commonly recognized by European welfare states, which the United States signed but the U.S. Senate has never ratified.

…

With the end of the Cold War, however, the lines between the two kinds of rights grew blurry. What’s more, “human rights” became just another club to be wielded for political ends by human-rights abusers who sat on the commission, often targeting Israel and America.

When it got so bad that Sudan, deep into its ethnic cleansing of Darfur, was elected unanimously to the Commission on Human Rights in 2004, the U.S. ambassador walked out. But things got even worse, and the commission was abolished two years later — only to be reconstituted as the U.N. Human Rights Council, whose members today include such human-rights exemplars as Russia, China, Saudi Arabia, Libya, and Cuba.

Just last year, however, the United States joined the council as part of President Obama’s outreach to the world…

Oh, man, I pretty much published Pilon’s entire article. Apologies. Please go to the site to read the whole thing in its original form.

I’m already 4 for 5 on the “Utopias and Dystopias” section, teach. But I still gotta brush up on my Lovecraft. Ya heard?

But he is not challenging what people think a creepy fucktard is.

(Why do I open any of the links you send me, M? And how does this guy jog?)

…

At age twelve, Rick developed breasts. –Robert Kurson, “My Favorite Teacher,” 2000

…

And too much testosterone is what causes men to commit unspeakable crimes like murder and rape and The Rock and Bad Boys. –Jeanne Marie Laskas, “Michael Bay,” 2001

…

The food in private houses tends to be in the shape of things–ice-cream boats or hearts, fish-shaped aspic salads–and almost everything is creamed, not only creamed but served with creamed sauce. –Jessica Mitford, “Whut They’re Thanking Down There,” 1962

…

This and nothing else is the desperately sought and tragically fragile writer’s process: in his imagination, he sees made-up people doing things–sees clearly–and in the act of wondering what they will do next, he sees what they will do next, and all this he writes down in the best, most accurate words he can find, understanding even as he writes that he may have to find better words later, and that a change in the words may mean a sharpening or deepening of the vision, the fictive dream or vision becoming more and more lucid, until reality, by comparison, seems cold, tedious, and dead. –John Gardner, “Do You Have What It Takes to Become a Novelist?” 1983

…

In the months after I got back from Vietnam, the hundreds of helicopters I’d flown in began to draw together until they formed a collective meta-chopper, and in my head it was the sexiest thing going; saver-destroyer, provider-waster, right hand-left hand, nimble, fluent, canny and human: hot steel, grease, jungle-saturated canvas webbing, sweat cooling and warming up again, cassette rock ‘n’ roll in one ear and door-gun fire in the other, fuel, heat, vitality, and death, death itself no intruder. –Michael Herr, “High on War,” 1977

…

Also, I shouldn’t have to say this, but do not, under any circumstances, put Pop Rocks in your ass. –Stacey Grenrock Woods, Sex column, 2003

…

And, yes, you’re married and, yes, maybe she is, too, but you are there, both of you, because you want to strip yourselves down to just this moment, this motel, this song, this bottle of wine, this bra strap, these panties over this chair, this light cutting through these curtains, this pillow, these deep sighs. –Anonymous, “The Indefensible Position: Adultery Is Good for Your Marriage,” 2001

I should probably read these essays in their entirety now.

Two actors needed to impersonate Simone de Beauvoir and Jean-Paul Sartre in outdoor promotional event for university literary event. Perform along predetermined on-campus route. Must be able to speak in a French accent and perform a few phrases in French.

Breakdown: Female/20’s-50’s/Caucasian
Breakdown: Male/20’s-50’s/Caucasian

Performance Date: Wednesday, September 8th
Fee: $150

E-mail headshot and resume to [REDACTED]

For videos of de Beauvoir and Sartre go to:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XHVTKy1cmuc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ect1K5SWhLw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9NbHRmOEXs&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MYPP_tYQkFw&feature=fvst

I don’t know what university campus the event will take place on, but I hope they don’t stop there. Imagine an Existentialism-themed restaurant in the style of Jekyll and Hyde?

The article tells us that Threatts—who forged documents so that he could play on the gridiron with pubescent boys—is an “avowed Danielle Steele fan who recorded poetry readings on a personal YouTube channel,” but the article fails to report on how well the guy did (or did not do) on the field. Sure, you can follow the link above and listen to his shitty poetry, but what I wanna know is whether the 21-year-old crushed any kids?

Threatts might be one of the lamest Jay Gatsby knock-offs around. (Sub out Daisy Buchanan for Pop Warner football.) But he’s a kind of hero—a hopeless one, of course—attempting time travel without the physics. I wonder what kind of kid he was when he was 13 or 14. Was he doctoring his birth certificate so that he could compete in organized sperm games?

In a strange way I kind of admire the asshole. There’s a little bit of 28-year-old me that would love to go back and play ice hockey—my sport of choice when I was in middle school. But I haven’t skated in more than a decade. Now I’d probably look like a fool on the ice. And I wonder, would the cops let me keep my equipment on—skates and all—when they escort me from the rink to the idling cruiser?

I appreciate Penn’s nuanced take on the subject of videotaping police:

And what a great observation: Cops in movies are way too fucking old!